Do you feel like you’re stuck in some part of your life – that you keep cycling back to the same old ways of thinking, feeling, and acting? I’ve been there. Am there in some areas.
Most of the time we attempt to change from the outside in, leveraging willpower to become who we want to be through doing the things we know we should be doing in hopes that our hearts change along the way. That pathway inevitably fails. You may succeed in white-knuckling it for awhile – you may contain your temper for awhile, fight off the weight of depression and go about a normalish life, or avoid acting out in your addiction – but you will always come back to your depression, anxiety, porn, alcohol, or whatever your unique struggle is if the heart-level belief isn’t transformed.
If you can identify with this vicious cycle of failing, trying harder, and failing again, Proverbs 4 has some insight. Pay close attention to the flow of thought in these verses:
My son, be attentive to my words;
incline your ear to my sayings.
Let them not escape from your sight;
keep them within your heart.
For they are life to those who find them,
and healing to all their flesh.
Keep your heart with all vigilance,
for from it flow the springs of life.
Put away from you crooked speech,
and put devious talk far from you.
Let your eyes look directly forward,
and your gaze be straight before you.
Ponder the path of your feet;
then all your ways will be sure.
Do not swerve to the right or to the left;
turn your foot away from evil.
Proverbs 4:20-27
The path of change
Proverbs 4:20-27 gives us a pathway for change that lasts. It looks like this:
“Be attentive to my words…keep them within your heart”
Want change? Be attentive. Soak yourself in God’s word. Don’t his words escape your mind or your sight. Hold them within your heart.
This is more than mere reading. It is a deep meditation; a conscious embedding of a truth in one’s self. Elsewhere in Scripture this same concept is stated, “I have hidden your words in my heart that I might not sin against you.” (Psalm 119)
The path of change begins with God’s word. When we hear and keep God’s word it transforms us. God’s word contains his creative power. As when he created the universe, so his word has power to create change today. God can say through the prophet Isaiah, “…my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” (Isaiah 51:11, NIV)
In fact, God’s word is so powerful and transformative that the writer of Proverbs can declare that his words are, “life to those who find them, and healing to all their flesh.”
The path of change starts with God’s word, but it doesn’t stay there.
“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.”
Change starts with God’s word because, as we’ve already noted, God’s word alone has the power to change the heart. If our hearts aren’t transformed we will experience lasting change. The biblical concept of heart here isn’t just our emotions – it’s the core of your holistic self.
Your actions and how you live your life flows from what your heart has affection for as naturally as water flows from a spring. You may be able to plug the spring for a while but it will burst out somewhere eventually. That’s why it’s so crucial that we attend first and foremost to our hearts rather than focusing primarily on what we do or don’t do. If we spend our time managing our actions we’ll fail to ever get to the real root of change required to free us from whatever we’re stuck in.
Keep your heart
Want to follow the Proverbs’ advice? Pay attention to the state of your heart. Far too often we crush or simply ignore our hearts and emotions, blinding ourselves to the warning signs of danger.
To “keep your heart” must start with paying attention to your heart. What are you desiring right now? What does your heart long for? What are you angry about? What hurts you?
With all vigilance
One helpful practice to build this habit is to take a couple moments throughout your day – say, before each meal – and “check in” with your heart. Ask yourself how you’re feeling and listen to the answer. Check in with your heart regularly, particularly if you’re someone who’s not naturally in tune with your feelings.
Like a parent watching a young child playing near a ledge, our hearts need to be carefully observed if we are to learn the warning signs of danger. Do you feel a tightness in your chest? Do you get extra cranky? Do you start avoiding others when you’re moving toward unhealth? Are there certain thought-phrases that start popping up when you feel overwhelmed? Whatever the signal is, keep your heart with all vigilance.
The next couple verses of this proverb point to three practical areas that give us a window into the state of our hearts.
Three warning-gauges for the state of your heart
“Put away from you crooked speech.”
One of the best indicators of the state of your heart is your language. The words we use say much about the state of our heart. Do you use victim language? Power language? The language of self-hatred? Deceitful language?
I’ve noticed in myself that when I’m feeling stressed or tempted I tend to speak less, while my internal dialogue gets sharper, more task focused, and more critical of those around me. My mental language moves from being relaxed and peaceful to being judgemental.
Watch your language – both verbal and internal. Is it “crooked speech” that distorts reality, or is it aligned with God’s language? If it’s crooked in any way, odds are something is off within your heart.
“Let your eyes look directly forward”
The second indicator of the state of your heart is where your eyes look and linger. This might be your literal eyes, but it also includes your internal/mental eyes
Where do you focus? Are you constantly flitting from one thing to the next or lingering on things you shouldn’t? If you’re someone who struggles with anxiety your mental “eyes” are probably flitting from one worry to the next. If you’re someone who is addicted to porn your eyes will linger on tempting images rather than looking directly forward and focusing on their goal. If you’re stuck in self-hatred your “eyes” will be highly adept at seeing your failures and struggle to see your good.
Pay attention to where your eyes focus. As you do so you’ll discover much about the state of your heart.
“Ponder the path of your feet…turn your foot away from evil.”
The third indicator of the state of your heart is where you go. Again, this may mean your physical bodily motion, but in our digital age it also includes digital “going.”
What websites do you frequent? What instagram accounts are you currently drawn to? What stores or bars or restaurants are you currently wanting to go to? Maybe you’re at work and you’re longing to escape by going home sick.
Take time to “ponder the path of your feet.” When we’re in a state of unhealth we generally operate on autopilot, simply going to the places our heart takes us rather than consciously thinking about the costs or implications. The places you go and are desiring to go will tell you much about the state of your heart.
True transformation comes from the heart
Lasting change comes from the heart, and the heart can only be changed by the Spirit-empowered Word of God. Want change? Start with attentiveness to God’s word by reading the Scriptures ourselves, engaging them with others, and listening to God’s word taught or sung or spoken.
Next, stop trying to change from the outside in and instead, with kindness, pay attention to the signs that indicate the state of your heart; the words you use, where your eyes and thoughts linger, and where you go.
Then, in gentle response to what you’ve discovered about the state of your heart, you can engage God’s words that speak directly to that heart-state by finding Scripture and truth that is applicable. Thanks to the internet and apps like YouVersion’s Bible app finding those scriptures is easier than ever.
So keep your heart, and pay attention to God’s word. It is there you’ll find the beginnings of true change.
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