String Lights

It seems that my life is full of ups and downs; times where I shine brightly and, much more frequently, times where there is no sign of light. I can’t help but wonder at those darker times if there is some fault in me that causes me to fall from what I desire t be. It seems that that is the way of all things in human life; to be full of both highs and lows, the greatest things happening in the shortest times. A wise man once said, “Good things happen over time. Great things happen all at once.” There is certainly some truth to that statement, but, I wonder, is that how God meant it to be in our relationship with Him? This I do not know.

All I can really say is that that is how my life is today. There are days where I spend hours reading through the Word and talking with the Creator. Days when I hear worship songs and can’t help but sing along. Days that I have to dance or run to let out the joy that has found its way into my heart. And then there are days where the heavens are silent, or maybe my soul has simply closed its ears. Days when it seems that there are no verses that inspire my heart. Days when songs that normally bring me to tears have no effect. Am I a fool to try so hard? Am I trying to become the impossible? If I could choose, I would be left, breathless and unable to move, overcome by the awe of my King. Perhaps it is better the way it is.

Whatever the right way may be, I am not the one who controls it. That is up to the Creator. So, as the creation, I will do my best to stay shining bright for as long as possible, and maybe by doing so I will find something greater than merely myself. But a maybe is all I can say, and no more.

I really have no answers, only thoughts and wishes and dreams and a desperate thirst for something more than what I can reach out and touch with my earthly hands. So I am left to, like a string of lights, tangle my way through the darkness and shine as bright pinpoints, if only for a moment at a time. I am left to let my moments of clarity and light guide the way back to the source of power. And perhaps, in God’s perfect time, I will become a single bright bulb; a moon reflecting the sun with all its glory and power.