“So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you have become very dear to us.”
-1 Thessalonians 2:8
Both Jesus and the apostle Paul refused to let their ministry be one of words only. They knew full well that Gospel words may make converts, but only Gospel lives can make disciples. Jesus invested his life in the core twelve of his followers. Paul writes in 1 Thessalonians about how he was ready to share not only the truths of the Gospel but also his own life with the people he was ministering to.
Within Threshingfloor one of our goals was to set up a ministry that made it impossible for someone who wasn’t willing to “share themselves” to lead ministry. Honestly, it’s not that difficult to throw some words at an audience and then walk away. The difficulty of ministry comes when your life begins to intersect in uncomfortable ways with others. For God to be glorified in ministry like that – in ministry like Jesus did – there must be a deep love for the people who are being ministered to. Paul said of the Thessalonians, “you have become very dear to us.”
The first question we need to ask ourselves is whether or not the people we minister to are dear to us? Do we love them? Do we love them enough to mourn over and confront their sin? To inconvenience ourselves in order to serve them? To share our very lives with them? If not, to put it bluntly, you shouldn’t be ministering. Here’s four ways to shepherd yourself into love for your people:
Realize your own sinfulness
The biggest thing that keeps me from loving other people is the assumption that I am somehow better than them. The moment we start seeing ourselves as more sinless than the people we are ministering to our love will begin to die. Yes, we may be further down the road of sanctification, but look back to where you came from. The apostle Paul regularly reminds the churches of the fact that he was once the chief of sinners. By calling to mind his own brokenness in the past he kept himself humble in the present. When we realize our own sinfulness we will love other sinners much more easily, and realize just how much Jesus has done for us.
Grow in love for Jesus
The great commandment is about loving God, and the second is about loving people. In a very real way our love for God will determine our love for people. If our affections for Jesus are waning and we are straying into sin then our affections for the people we are ministering to will fade as well. One of the most important things a Christian can do is feed themselves affections for Jesus. Spend time reveling in him, worshiping him, and giving thanks to him.
Give thanks
One of the best weapons against bitterness is thanksgiving. One of the best ways to feed your love for someone is to give thanks for them. I make it a regular practice that before I pray for any of the people in Threshingfloor I spend several minutes thanking God for specific things about each of those people, for things that I actually am thankful for. Don’t let thoughts of frustration or anger linger in your mind or take root in your heart. Instead, give thanks to God for the good things about the people he has placed around you and entrust to him through prayer the problems.
Listen to their stories
It’s hard to love someone who you don’t really know. Generally if I’m frustrated with someone’s slow progress or shortcomings I’ve found it’s because I haven’t really seen the whole context behind the struggle. Maybe that girl who keeps gossiping and making every conversation about her is terribly afraid of having people ignore her. Maybe the guy struggling with sexual addictions was abused as a child.
As you get in people’s lives and hear their stories, the Holy Spirit will grow love for them in you and will empower you to minister to them in amazing ways. Only when we love our people and share our lives with them will we see disciples made. Anything else is just a waste of time.
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