“Whoever covers an offense seeks love,
but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.”
Proverbs 17:9“Good sense makes one slow to anger,
and it is his glory to overlook an offense.”
Proverbs 19:11“…walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”
Ephesians 4:1b-3“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”
James 1:19-20
It seems like people are increasingly eager to be offended, particularly in the digital portion of our world. A few days ago I came across a post on Facebook that contained a video overviewing the charity work done by several African-American athletes. The post text mentioned something about how the athletes were “taking a knee” by doing the charity work, and the top several comments (each with hundreds of replies) were people expressing how offended they were by the fact that the post mentioned taking a knee. It’s as if being offended about something has become virtuous and expressing disagreement is an act of righteousness.
The Bible has plenty to say about being easily-offended. The verses below quoted above, and the two below are just scratching the surface. But it’s one thing to read those verses and another thing entirely to let them land and have impact in your everyday life.
“You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him. You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord.”
Leviticus 19:17-18“For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness.”
1 Peter 2:21-24
The good of being offended
Part of the problem is how good it feels to be the offended party. Expressing your offense lets you feel heard and feel powerful. It makes it clear to you (and everyone else in earshot) that you are righteous and that your position is the proper one. When someone attempts to counter your offense by explaining the reasonableness of their position, our default mode is to feel all the more validated in our offense. After all, if they need to defend themselves then we must be right.
The problem with being offended
Expressing your offendedness doesn’t change anything. It merely cements both parties more firmly in their viewpoints (political arguments in the last year, anyone?). On top of that, operating as the offended party tends to put you in the position of a victim, which is drastically contrary to how Jesus demonstrated that his people are to operate.
When Judas betrayed Jesus Jesus didn’t complain loudly how unfair it was or pointedly disagree with Judas’ life choices. When Herod condemned Jesus, the savior didn’t speak up to make sure that the crowds heard his side of things. Jesus was the one with ultimate power, yet he didn’t attempt to defend himself. He was the one who was absolutely right, and yet he chooses instead to let his actions cover over others’ offenses towards him. As 1 Peter says, “When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.”
Covering the offense
Brothers and sisters, let’s not be people who are easily offended. Instead, like Jesus, let’s be “quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger”, covering the offenses toward us and promoting love as Proverbs 17:9 says.
Proverbs 19 goes further, saying that it is a person’s glory to overlook an offense. Want to be a loving and glorious person? Quit being so easily offended.
We are to be a people who operate with “all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love” (Eph 4). What a miraculous thing it would be in this partisan, tribal, driven-by-conflict climate for God’s people to be those things. As we follow in the footsteps of our savior, who “bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness” by ignoring and covering over the offenses that come our way the world will take notice.
This holiday season as we gather with relatives who we may have disagreements with, let’s resolve to follow Jesus’ example and refuse to be offended, instead being firmly settled in our identity as sons and daughters of our heavenly Father, entrusting ourselves to Him who judges justly, and fulfilling the great commandment to love all who God puts before us, even our enemies.
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