The next week or so is going to bring a significant transition in my life. For the last month or so I’ve been struggling between whether I should get a full time job and limit what time I have to invest directly in Threshingfloor or stick with the minimal income of a part-time position and keep more of my time free for ministry.
It’s been quite the mental tug of war. I’m confident that our Lord wants me to do ministry as a vocation at some point in my life, but I also feel the weight of needing to provide for Kelly and I, particularly as she finishes up school and we begin needing to make payments on school loans. But if I get a full time job is that acting in fear rather than in faith that Jesus will provide? Will working full time keep me from opportunities to minister to those who are under my charge in our community? At the same time, most of the people in our community work full time and therefore I can’t invest much in them during the work day. But will I have energy to work 8 hours a day and spend 4 of my seven nights pouring myself out in ministry? But isn’t that what so many of the Lord’s people have done throughout the generations? Isn’t every believer called to an entire life of service? But…you get the point.
About two weeks ago I landed on what felt like the Lord’s leading and accepted a full-time position at a company here in Fargo. I start next Monday, November 4th. Honestly I’m not sure how things are going to work out, but through much prayer and conversation with Kelly I believe that a full time job is what I need to pursue for this season. Here’s why.
- To test myself. Am I truly committed to disciple-making or am have I just pursued vocational ministry because it’s a familiar and enjoyable path? I love reading, teaching, and people. Ministry is an outlet for those loves. I don’t want to go into ministry simply because it’s the easy road or because it feels the safest. I want to test myself, and I believe that disciple-making needs to be something that I am committed to whether or not it is my vocation.
- To test the Lord. If Jesus has called me to vocational ministry he will make a way for it to happen. The job I’ve taken is a “long term temporary” position, and during the months that I’m working I’ll be spending much time in prayer and pursuing ways of generating income that will free up more of my time down the road. By my calculation Kelly and I need an income of at least $2000/month to make ends meet. I’m stoked to praise the Lord like crazy when he provides above and beyond that so I can commit to full time ministry.
- To set an example. As I mentioned earlier, the majority of the young men and women in Threshingfloor work full time. Just a Jesus set the example for his disciples in all things, I believe that leaders are called to actively demonstrate what they call their followers to. If I’m calling the people within Threshingfloor to leverage their whole life for disciple-making, I want to be living proof that it can be done when we walk in the Spirit’s power. Christian’s shouldn’t be able to point to their leader’s lives as reasons to keep their faith limited to church events.
- To experience. How can I correctly counsel and encourage someone who is struggling to make disciples and work 40 hours a week if I can’t empathize with them? I want to experience that lifestyle so that I can more accurately discern its idols, strengths, weaknesses, and be able to shepherd the Lord’s people well.
- We need the money. I put this one last not because it’s the least important but because I’ve questioned myself a lot on whether I’ve accepted this full time position simply out of the pressure of financial needs. I don’t think I have, but that tension is still there. Kelly and I do need money to pay our bills. However, the moment I start looking to my job as the source of my steadiness it becomes an idol. Instead I’m daily reminding myself that this job is a tool for the sake of glorifying Christ through making disciples. I’m sent as a missionary before I go as an employee.
Keep me in your prayers, family. Jesus has provided this job and that means that there’s something for me to do there that’s going to bring him glory. It’s going to be good.
2 Comments
Maybe you will find this encouraging or maybe not, but these versus have really spoken to me the past year in my own life transitions. I Thessalonians 5:16-18.
16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
I’m not sure what we do has anything to do with it. I think it’s much more about how we do what we do.
Good word Jeremy. It’s definitely been a learning experience just thinking through how I will continue in ministry even while working full time. Praising Jesus in all places is probably even more powerful than working in a “ministry” job!