I Go To War

I have a sword hanging over my desk in my dorm room at Moorhead; a sword nearly 5 feet tall, made mostly of plastic, and purchased at Target a few years ago on clearance after Halloween. A fun toy, and certainly gets a few looks, but not much good for any battle. It is, however, a reminder to me that I have come here with a solemn purpose and that my mindset is to be that of a man in a war zone. My eyes are to be open to see both friend and foe, my heart prepared for every opportunity, and my mind attentive to not only my studies but also to my commander. Oh that the Lord would open all our eyes to see our world in such a way!

I’ve come to Moorhead quite a different man than I was when I attended CLC four years ago. No more can I walk silently through halls and classes; my life must be a beacon and a banner. My voice must be a declaration of love and truth. I have tasted and I have seen that there are things far more massive than the futility of a life lived upon earthly things, and I shall give what life I have left to help others to see as well. May God use me.

I go to war; war has come to me, and I intend to make the most of it.

I pray the same is true for you.

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Born Blind

More or less than dead I was
when you took me in your hands and said;
Hope like stars will light your path
when you close your eyes and let me lead.

A fall, a summer, a winter move
like the sound of your joy throughout the trees
bringing life to this broken earth
and changing branches to growing leaves.

More or less than blind I’d been
till you came and kissed me with all your strength
and I awoke, gasping for a colored breath
and a soul to contain a perfect gift.

a wonder, the laughter, a fearful thrill
like a horizon bigger than our little world
leaving me grasping at a galaxy of thought
for words to repeat what you had done.

More or less than a slave I was
when you bought me for yourself and said,
stay, hope, and only trust -
I shall be your father
and you shall be my son.

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All the Real Stars

Fall is here, an early hint, heavy on the evening breeze and making me ache for something more than what I now have. What I now am. How long will this body tarry on its journey heavenward? How long will its Savior tarry on his return to earth? My bones are tired of carrying gravity and sin along with them day after day. They want to be able to see stars as they really are, without the mirror dimly. I want to be free from the need to take my own brain captive and test every thought to ensure that it aligns with Christ’s; to simply be able to do, without worry of doing wrong.

How long must the finale tarry? I am a sojourner in a foreign land, catching the scent of home on the wind as it sings trees to sleep, and it reminds me of just how far away I am. Further than stars from earth, flickering as their light refracts through the atmosphere, much like the pictures of home flicker and distort through these broken senses. We take the satellite route home, slowly drifting through the sky. Oh how I would love to be a shooting star instead; a bright burn across a sky, sputtering out as all around watch. Shooting stars make it home quicker.

But we will go home, in good time. How sweet a thought that is!  Christ said, “I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.” To be with Christ, my brother and savior and King. That is a good thing.

Autumn is closer. A night is beginning and a day ending, and I am a day closer to home. My bones still ache, and this body coughs with its frustration at earthly life. It’s tired, and I will sleep to wake up to a new day. Then, some day in the future, I will lay down to my final sleep and awake in a new world as a new man. No more mirrors or pains. Real stars.

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Never Forget the Meta Narrative


Things tend to get lost in all that life throws my way. Between two jobs, studying, family, and all the other odds and ends of a common week I tend to lose sight of the greater picture of what God is doing. And it’s when I start forgetting that gloriously massive story that I begin to get discouraged and feel as though the way I spend my time is of little consequence. Evenings that should be full with rejoicing interaction with family, both earthly and spiritual, become times to sit around and be entertained in front of the television or computer. Morning that are meant to be bright beginnings to days centered in the Lord fall to dreary half-awake, half-hearted starts. The sight of a massive thunderhead rolling through the sky that should lift my mind to the power of its creator becomes a passing complaint about too much rain this summer.

When we lose the perspective of God’s plan, our actions become small and meaningless and sin comes far too easy. And when I say sin I don’t (only) mean going around doing evil. I mean failing to do as we are commanded in Colossians 3; “set your mind on things that are above, not on things that are of earth.” Peter called it “being sober minded” and setting our hope fully on the grace that will soon be revealed.

Forget the cost of that tank of gas. Forget that your late. Forget the fact that you haven’t slept well the last three nights. If that’s what’s on your mind, you’re focusing on the wrong things. Stop remembering the things that will fall like grass and start remembering what is eternal. Jesus said to. Have you forgotten that everything is good for you, because God makes it that way? Have you forgotten that solar systems and sea horses groan in longing for the day that you are revealed for who you really are? Have you forgotten that God has a throne and you are seated upon it with Christ?

I mean, really. Forget something of less consequence next time. Like breathing. Remember where your mind is supposed to be sitting.

How desperate we ought to be for eyes that see from a higher vantage point than the middle of our head! We must remember that we are players in a work that God has been doing since the beginning of time. He didn’t simply create this world and turn it loose; he has intentionally placed you in the time and place that you are currently in for the sake of doing the work that was planned for you to do from before trees grew. The Lord loved the people around you so much that he placed you near them so that they might see Him reflected in your life. Your tiny. Tiny like the molecules in an atom bomb that turn a city to dust. Molecules like the ones you are made out of that are being held together by God because he has a plan for you.

Forget about your canker sore. Get some perspective. You’re related by blood to the guy who laughs and smiles when every nation on earth decides to declare war on him.

Oh how that knowledge should wake us from lazy hours and passive living! We are ambassadors, princes, priests, and a people who have the very God of very God pulsing within us. Our stage is a massive one and our part essential. Don’t waste your days. Instead, keep in mind the fact that nothing – absolutely nothing – in your life is accidental. Grab some perspective, pray that God would enlarge your heart to feel it, and let the small stuff (money, clothing, life) slide. You have been chosen and are being prepared for glory. Remind yourself often of that fact. It’s one thing we should never forget.

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No Small Thing

How long must I continue in such low form, drug down by small and fleeting things the heights which I so long to stand upon? Truly, it is as Augustine said; our old fleshly habits are weights which leave us straining upward but still eating dust. My longing is that my mind, heart, and soul would be so captivated by Christ that it would be set only “on things that are above, not on things that are of earth.” (Colossians 3:2)

I long for that oneness of heart but fall far short of obtaining it. What should be thundering passion thrumming within my chest as I pray or study the Word often becomes a mere clinical examination of deity. Words rolled from the mouth of God onto paper and preserved for thousands of years should strike me with massive for, yet they seem to move through me with little effect. A life that should be lived in the confident courage of knowing that if God is for me, none can be against me becomes a barely-swimming struggle to stay afloat in a storm.

Still, in that often unaffected mind there is a seed that knows it is meant to inspire fruit of an unearthly quality. A fruit that sets captives free and heals the wounded; a fruit that wells up within its eater to become springs of living water; a fruit that awakes sleepers and breaks curses; a fruit that abides, because the branch that bears it does the same.  And this branch – this small branch of a man – aches deeply at his better hours to be part of a generation that pushes forth, suffering and dying their way into life, just like their savior did. It is fruit like that that the Lord has sent his Spirit to bring forth. Christ sent his Spirit to lead us to him who is the only way, truth, and life.

And where is Christ to be found? He is upon the cross, crying out in agony and gagging upon his own blood. He is in eternity, reveling at the work that the Godhead has wrought. He is at a grave’s entrance, bidding Lazarus to rise and standing to reveal his own resurrection. He is standing at an altar purified by his own blood, waiting for his bride to come and be purified so that he may take her as his own. Christ is in you oh believer.

In you.

Have you understood that, or has your mind so long crippled by sin so as to prevent you from seeing the vast expanse of what has been placed within you when God sent his Spirit? Christ – the one in whom God was pleased to dwell – dwells in you. Your yet-sinful flesh somehow contains all the fullness of God.  How can we dare to dabble in anything as trivial as what is of this earth? It is ludicrous that you should be captivated by television or sports of food or sex or coffee or careers when all things are already yours. The greatest things of the world are loss when compared to that surpassing greatness which has been planted within you as the Spirit has begun to grow.

Yet even as I sit and write these things part of my mind wants to just quit writing and go play video games from now until midnight. Not two days ago I chose to blatantly ignore that very Spirit’s leading, trading a God’s will for a few hours of entertainment and pleasure. How dare I do so? Have we forgotten so easily him who called us by the riches of his grace? Do we deny the blood of his new creation that now flows within our veins? God help us.

And indeed he shall.

Here is my call, you Christian men and women; I say no new thing, I only urge you once again to take up your cross and follow your God, to the death if you must (and indeed you must). Stand from your stupor; awake you sleeping generation! God has done the thing and it is marvelous in our eyes. Now we are to continue it by his power. As the Father did his works in and through the Son, so we are to do Christ’s work, moving as he leads. Forget these passing pleasures and focus yourself on that which is imperishable and unfading. I for one am tired of spending my life on drops of dust when my God offers and ocean in which to swim.

To be honest, I don’t know what that ocean looks like for you, but I know for me there are some things I need to get rid of before I swim well. Those lead weights for me take the forms of entertainment and pleasure, and no man can swim well with lead upon him. I intend to replace those worthless (at best) things with prayer, meditation upon the word, speaking of Christ to those who don’t know him, and so much more. It means that who I marry is directly guided by Christ’s cross. It means that sleep is not my highest priority, Christ is. It means that my worry is not money, but whether I am pleasing my God by the way I live.

Like I said, I don’t know what swimming in the ocean looks like for you, but you need to know. Christ is in you like the sap of the vine is in its branches. His life leads down to death and up again into infinite life, all for the glory of the Father. If his life is in you, yours will look like his. That is no small thing. The Superbowl, tsunamis, and life are small things. Your car breaking down is a small thing. Don’t live life focused on the small things. Live like Christ; to the praise of the Lord’s glorious grace.

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